when i was a child, i wanted to save the world. i wanted to know everything about the hunger, the wars, economy and why certain countries or religions didn´t like each other.
i tried to understand, asking questions, thinking about stuff over and over again with the naivety of a child – knowing so little and thus so much.
i became a vegetarian at the age of five cause i just didn´t get the idea of eating animals.
after some time i got stuck. my thoughts went in circles and i felt like a terrible person cause i noticed i was part of “the system” too.
in my teenage years i tried to boycott coca cola and “american brands” (cause for me they were the bad ones). until my dad reminded me that he worked for an american brand too. “crap” i thought.
after some time i felt frustrated.
as i grew older, i noticed that i have become a person with less hope to find a solution to take care of that stuff. i developed less hope in mankind.
cause we are just damn stupid most of the time.
as a guy in a documentary said last week “on the outside we are evolved, but we still behave like cave dwellers” wanting more and more and most of all we want convenience.
don´t get me wrong, i am one of them cave dwellers from time to time. lazy and ignorant. not too compassionate about what happens around me. cause it´s just so damn much. i tell myself that the world is a big bad place and maybe i should just not think about all that stuff and live my life without regrets and consideration cause when i´m gone i will leave nothing behind except some fading memories (lighter than stardust)
sometimes i have my moments of clarity .
but don´t worry.
i find my way back into society quite easy, changing a little bit just to tell myself: “hey, at least i tried now and then“.